Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I don't wanna

I am in a quandary. Well not a quandary now that I have looked that word up. But more of a state of not wanting to do something but I keep getting nudged in that direction.

I am not a leader, or social either.  This is one of the most profound things I've learned about myself. I really truly do not want to be a leader. However I am being pushed to start a ministry at my church for knitters/crocheters/fiber people. And by pushed I mean gently, at least for the time being is is gently. People keep telling me I should start one, four people at least, including the Hubby. I would think that the Hubby knew me better, but he is also the one I have to thank for pushing me into my first knitting group. I guess he does know me pretty well.

Right now I am pushing back on one of the people doing most of the pushing. She is a fiber person too so I keep telling her to start the group and I will attend. That backs her down somewhat but not enough. I'm not saying this to be mean but I just don't get why she is pressing me to do something she has no wish to do herself.

Sunday I was swooped in upon by someone I've not yet met. After a quick introduction she pulled out a bag of yarn and started asking questions. Many questions, even after my disclaimer that I don't know how to crochet. She's having what I think are tension problems, a bowl shaped granny square rather than a flat granny square. I helped her as much as I could which mostly consisted of going up a couple hook sizes and just play with your work. Don't be afraid to play for a while, if it is not working change something and do that for a while, have fun and relax, you're still learning it is all OK. Which is the best advice I'd given myself.

I have no idea who sent her my way. I do know people are talking about how much I knit, even though I've never knit during the church service. When did I become the expert? I keep telling myself this is why I don't want to start a church club/ministry. I don't want to be the person people continually come to for yarny advice. I like my quiet knitting time while Hubby is practicing with the choir.

So I'm just trying to figure out if I'm being to selfish or if I should just go ahead and fire it up. I could always do it once to see what happens...


  1. I think you need to do what you want and not listen to people bullying you. Sometimes, we are afraid to say no because we are taught it's not nice. Saying no is not a bad thing especially if you don't want to do it.

    1. I know that you're right and thanks for telling me it is ok to say no.
      But what if I had said no to going to my first knitting group look at what I would have missed. It is hard to judge sometimes what is uncomfortable and what is out of your skill set. I am really trying to identify why I don't want to. I know that I really do not want to be in charge and the leader. I think that is the most important thing.
      Thanks for your advice as always!