Wednesday, June 20, 2018

How to win friends...Burt style

The other night Burt and I are lounging around in our pajamas, what? Hubby was not home and we were hot and out of ice cream. Them's lounging rules people.

Anyways I had tried to retire to bed but Burt was not being is normal, follow Momma around the house, self. I tried drifting off to sleep I really did but where was my wee Burt? I trotted downstairs and there he was lounging on the nice cool floor.

So I sat down to enjoy a quick computer game. Hey when you cannot sleep you might as well rule the world, or at least a computer version of it.

Burt started trilling and chatting to me, or I assumed it was me. But he would not come near to me, he was not leaving his spot in front of the door to the patio. Now this was definitely odd for my Burtie Boy. Momma can usually get a courtesy check in for a quick pet.

And boy was he making adorable sounds. Not the I want that bird chatter but little trills and sighs. I tell you it was a cute noise seduction.

Well it worked on me, I went to see what had put him in such an adorable mood. There was the new neighbor cat looking in our back door. Now I've been struggling with the thought that Burt might like a feline companion. I would love to get him a friend if I knew he would like it, but Burt is so dang near perfect, I decided to wait. It was sort of nice to be able to answer the vet with firm litter box behavior answers. You never have to guess which cat did what when you only have one.

But back to Burt's visitor, I cracked the door to let them smell each other but realized the screen was not in the right position. I snapped it safely shut and listened to Burt make a new friend.

They did a quick nose to nose sniff then the cute kitty noise took over. All I heard was the feline version of hey buddy! over and over again. Ok fine there was one quick test growl but that never went anywhere.

One would walk away and lie down the other would approach the screen. Nose sniff then the other would walk away and lie down. You get the idea it was like a cat infinity loop with the screen being the meeting place.

I let them have a good natter, then I told McFriendly it was time to go to bed. I swear I heard the kitty version of Awww Mom!

Burt stayed by the door for a good long while. He did make sure to let me know when he came to bed. Guess he did not want to get into trouble for breaking curfew.

So yeah I think he would enjoy having a friend. We're not naming him Nunzio though.

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Not Exactly a Marshmallow

So... do you all remember that cowardly, judgemental letter I received?

Well... I know who sent it. I was offered an apology because someone else wanted it. The apology was a one time offer, only under her conditions. I did not respond. It was just another attempt to manipulate and control me.

I am currently working my way through all my thoughts and feelings. Moment to moment the things I want to say and do vary widely. I want to tell her to never speak to me, which is ironic because she has never spoken to me. I want to expose what she has done. I want to hide in a corner and never go out in the world again. I want to say everything I've ever thought of saying. I want to get an sincere apology full of regret. I want to yell and scream at her. I want to cry. I want to make her cry. I want this to had never have happened. I want her to not do this to someone else.

Right now I am ignoring and not responding. I am allowing myself to feel all of these things as part of my processing. No one gets to tell me what I feel. 

As we were talking through this situation I told D Oregon is sure going to make me strong and tough. His reply? "You weren't exactly a marshmallow."

Now if you will excuse me I have a warm kitty in my lap. And he is not judging me at all.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Receiving Graciously

Sigh, I've been holding off on writing this post for far too long. No it is not anything super serious or devastating, dont get too worried.

Remember when I had such a hard time with accepting help before we moved. I'd like to say it is a lesson I've learned and taken to heart.

But I was struck again by how hard it is. I still don't know why. At least I did not have a hard time while D was off his feet after the accident.

Remember this lovely spinning wheel I was given?

I bundled her off to a class at a new fiber festival to learn how to use her. I the week or so before my class I doggedly learned how to make her spin. I was by now means efficient or proficient but I could do as the class required, spin a continuous yarn. I had filled a bobbin and started with another one. You know I was even having fun doing it most of the time. (That first night was a battle of wills. I thought I won...)

I was so looking forward to getting to know her and being super crafty, I make my own yarn and knit. How cool is it to be able to say that? I was also planning on doing a bit of fiber stash enhancement.

Back to the class. She showed us how to oil our wheels, tips on basic maintenance, how to change a drive band, and how sampling in spinning works. Great things to know as I start out on owning my first wheel. How exciting!

Then she started coming around to each of us individually. Is that dread creeping into your heart now? Yes it is. My drive wheel is visibly warped. D and I both observed this but had no clue how bad it is. The first question was, why are you using that gear? To which I replied, the internet told me to. The second question from my instructor, how attached are you to this spinning wheel? Gulp?!

I felt like I won the lottery when I picked her up, on hearing that question I felt like someone told me oops the 6 was really a 9 you're no longer a winner. Sigh again.

She left me to my thoughts, so I again doggedly tried to make her work for me. This time she just would not go in the smaller gear. I kept trying and trying. She kept stopping and stopping. We battled for a long while. The instructor went from person to person giving them personal attention. What a wonderful thing if your wheel is cooperating.

She then circled back to me and gave me her considered opinion. I need a new wheel. As much as I try and was hard as I wish this one is not going to work. I had reached that conclusion too, with a very heavy heart. Actually I think I was crying by this time. I held on as long as I could.

Then we start talking. She has a wheel like mine that she does not use... I'm trying to think how much I want to pay. Do I really want to invest in the is new hobby? Spoiler alert Oh heck yeah I want to learn how to spin on a wheel. What a skill to have, what a fun thing to learn.

So timidly I ask what she wants for her wheel? She says you're not listening, I have a wheel I could give you.

What?! How did I win the lottery again? She goes on to tell me she had a fire almost a decade ago and people sent her things to replace the things she lost, or at least try to. My reserve diminished, she was passing on other's good will. She had received and appreciated it now she was willing to send it on to me. How could I not accept?

When we refuse to receive good will and blessings from others we hurt ourselves and the ones trying to give. Part of giving is being able to receive too. If we cannot receive graciously how can we give graciously?

Hopefully I will have a new spinning wheel to show you in July.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018


This post comes to you from my mind sitting in a lovely B&B on the coast of Oregon. Ahh, Oregon I wish you loved me half as much as I love you. I know I know, you're trying to grow me into the strong competent person you think I can be but honey throw me a bone every once in a while. I'm working this church treasurer thing now, and a full time job, and a new house, and deciding if Burt needs a brother. Maybe the coast will give me some relaxation time.

Yep, I'm a church office holder now. Boy is that a tough adjustment to make. And here I thought I left church work back in New York. Sigh.

Anyways back to the meat of the story. This month is an anniversary for D and me. Where to go? What to do? We've been together long enough to know we're not the fancy dinner premium hotel kind of people.

But we have dipped our toes into a few B&Bs. So pretty and man do I love it when someone makes breakfast for me. Today we got to try Dutch Babies. I know it sounds like I'm a cannibal but I'm not. A Dutch Baby is a German (Deutsch) pancake. It is a bit like a big version of a popover or Yorkshire Pudding. I've never had Yorkshire Pudding but I did run across a funny article. The BBC was making fun of NY Times for giving recommendations for syrup or fruit preserves being used on a Dutch Baby when everyone knows it is properly known as Yorkshire Pudding and Yorkshire Pudding is not sweet it is savory only!!!!

Ahh, the things people can get their knickers in a twist over. Just because something is served one way in one place does not mean they hold the rights on everything about it. Just think if India took back Curry from England. Honestly I have no idea if there are differences between true Indian Curry and Curry you get in England. I just hope India does not judge me harshly for loving their curry spice.

Getting back to the Dutch Baby we had, I now have the recipe and will be attempting them in my house. If I am quick and lucky I just may post some pictures in the future.

We had a lovely time at the beach and continued the German food theme with lunch at a German restaurant. Germany can I continue to love your wursts and beers too?

We were then off to watch glass blowing being demonstrated. I have a wee glass kitten and some fancy new earrings and the continued love of crafting in all their various forms. We also hit Tillamook Cheese on the way down, and admired their ability to craft cheese and tasty things too.

Now since D is enjoying a rest in the lovely private B&B room I may just take a walk down on the shore or I could just curl up too. Decisions, decisions.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018


Momma what do you do when you have to do paperwork and I want to help you?

Oh you give me a nice comfy bed right up here where the action is so I can supervise! Don't forget to carry the one Momma.

She could not love me any more than she already does... I like her too.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

On Grieving

Ah the posts you never want to write but somehow the words keep moving around in your head. Finally it is just best to sit down with a box of tissues and let it out.

There are multiple triggers for this one but today it was a small box dated May 2016 that linked it all together. I was putting things away and came across something I am not yet able to let go, a box of medication for Gus. That box and three of its four pills moved with me from New York. It sat in under the bathroom counter in the apartment for a year and a half and now it sits on the new bathroom counter because somethings are memories even if they are useless. That box is the link to another life. Sometimes I forget how difficult that time was and sometimes I remember all to well.

I do know that my experiences taking care of Gus long term helped prep me for dealing with D's accident. I knew how strong I could be and had a clue how strong I would need to be.

That box also reminds me of the people from my vet's office. One in particular that is causing me to sob. M was this lovely soul that always had time for us. I think her middle name should have been empathy. She was the one that posted pictures of Gus on Facebook for me when we traveled and he stayed with them. She was the one that laughed when I told her to call him Big Tough Kitty when he was not feeling well. She was the one that took this picture.

She was also the person I messaged asking for help to end his struggles. I had to message her because I knew I would break down crying if I heard her voice and had to say the words. She was the one that wrapped up the shawl we brought with us and kept it safe to return with his ashes.

She was the one that came to take Jack's body from us.

She was also one of the first people to get a picture of Burt. Because people that understand why new kitty pictures are important are my kind of people.

Do you ever have those people in your life that you wish you could have known better. She is one of mine. We did connect on Facebook after the move out here. She was a bright, funny, beautiful person. It broke my heart to watch her go from being the caregiver to all of us pet parents to being a patient. A patient that kept beating the odds in all the worst ways. She was not supposed to be at risk for the disease that took her. She was not supposed to go from being on the road to recovery to hearing what would cause her death.

She is supposed to still be at the office taking calls and bringing comfort to all of us that needed her. She is supposed to be making me laugh at her witty comments and matching sense of humor. She is supposed to be curled up with her own kitties and wife.

But she is not and the world is less because of it. Rest well M. I hope Gus was there to greet you on the other side.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Tea cup garden?

What do you do when your tea for one set loses its other half? 

Start a teacup garden!

Who knew my teacup would have a picture of my future kitty on it?