Aggressive Pruning; Life Lessons from my Garden

Who knew when I started planting last  year that it would teach me so much. I mean honestly I knew I would learn a bit about growing things but I didn't know it would teach me about growing myself.

I had dianthus looking horrible and thought about pulling them out but with spring and patience they bloomed lovely. I mean honestly they were rocking the patio. Then they started to look bad again I thought about pulling them out again, but just cut back aggressively. Instead of wasting energy trying to support dying stems and blooms they redirected that energy into growing. Now I have a happy little mound of new growth. I am hopeful they will be able to bloom again. It felt good getting rid of sad brown crunchy bits. I could almost hear the new leaves sigh while stretching for the sunshine.

I have been struggling in a position of leadership in a volunteer capacity. I hate it. I never wanted to do it but people looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said it is not that hard, we will support you. Then someone sent me that nasty anonymous letter and put a dent in my armor. And the people "supporting" me, didn't. They listened to my fears and hurt and made a few comforting noises and honestly expected me to get over it in a week. So they took my dented armor away from me.

Have you met my black little introverted heart? I come from pioneer stock I know how to circle the wagons. I could feel myself withdrawing every time I was around these people. I carefully placed every stone back in my introvert wall and closed myself off. I retreated and my wounds turned out to be deeper and they festered. Oh man did I fester. Every time someone said I needed to "get over it" and every time I heard myself ask why can't you get over it...I added another layer of bricks onto my you-can't-hurt-me wall.

The thing is, on the scale of things I know it was not that bad. It was a nasty little letter meant to steal confidence and make the sender feel more powerful. Guess what it worked. It got under my skin and poked holes in my identity, self worth and ego. It ricocheted around my brain and heart. It stole my joy. Yeah I'm tough, but it hit me hard in my soft candy center. One single anonymous letter...fucking bitch. Three little lines implying I was not good enough to some coward unwilling to sign their taunt...fucking bitch. Because if someone could take the time to do this what else are they capable of?Or even doing without me knowing about? And that my friends is how fear grips its icy had around your heart. How do stalkers start? When does it become a war? When does it go from nasty words on a page to harmful actions?

I don't have answers for those questions. I know that things were said behind my back to people. I know emails were deleted before I could read them because "they ruined my weekend." I know that this whole situation was not handled well or correctly by people who said they would support me. I know that I am watching my back.

Last month I took out one of those layers of bricks and sent out a message. I am resigning and retreating. I am going to take care of me and mine. I'm going to allow myself to regrow and bloom. I am cutting you out of my growth cycle. Your branch has been pruned. I am going to give my energy to myself and what I want, because I know that I am worthy!

Garden update from months ago

I am enthralled by my garden. So much so that I don't even take the time to tell you all about it. These picture were from months ago. Hey at least I remember to take pictures even if I don't show them.

In this bed we have top to bottom beans, mustard spinach and chives. Row two has a tiny nasturtium that is now blooming in real time not blog memory time. Continuing down the row is a marigold, carrots and tiny green onions. The third row is mostly not planted till you reach the swiss chard, more carrots and more tiny green onions. Fourth row holds marigolds, peas, perpetual spinach and another kind of chives.

this bed is just full of hopes and dreams. Six tomato plants, three kinds of basil, two more kinds of peas, parsley, cilantro, lettuce and two kinds of mesclun mix.


I said at the start of this project that I would be happy if we got a few tomatoes and maybe a salad or two. Well we're all happy here and it is not even July yet. We've had several salads, a few tomatoes, a nice chard and parmesan dish, and a few peas. My beans and tomatoes are blooming and the spinach and cilantro have bolted. Don't mind me I'll be going out to pick my own salad soon.

Bigger than we thought

When last we left our intrepid gardeners a bed had been made and dirt dumped in it. Good black rich dirt as the primary gardner's hand shows.

Then a second bed was made and they sort of looked like weird oversized graves...

Or huge litter boxes depending on your perspective and needs.

Yarn grids were established and slowly plants began to get planted. The thought of planting things in March warped the midwestern gardeners mind but not enough to stop her.

Not bad. Plans are forming and ideas flying everywhere.

Wee lettuce and mesclun mix sprouts. 

Not so wee kitten inspecting my efforts.

Yeah I think the guide wires (yarn) will hold.

It is even more impressive now. But I was really behind on blogging so here's where some of my time has gone. Oh and I've been knitting too. Three pairs of socks on the needles.

Weekend Project

A couple of weekends ago Hubby and I were busy people. We did the thing I've been wanting to do for a while now. We put in raised beds to plant a garden in.

We looked at the home improvement store and decided a kit would be too easy Drill Sergeant! Concrete blocks that you can slide the wood into that looks easy enough. But then we brought the wrong car and were not sure how we could get the wood to fit. So maybe just the blocks and rebar and we can plan it out...

Yeah I think this is the best spot for them.

We headed out another day to get the Cedar. Now I have bought wood before, I've been to lumber yards. I've never bought lumber for a raised bed. So we bought rough 2x12 Cedar. It smells amazing!!

Guess the concrete blocks were made for planed wood because our rough cut did not fit in the notch. and oh yeah we were not planning on getting 12 inch height either. Rework the plan again, if you could call the way I do things as planning. Shh Hubby, no comments from the peanut gallery yet.

We borrowed a belt sander to smooth the area we needed to fit and oh yeah wet wood does not sand as well as dry wood. Hubby had the brilliant idea the maybe we could just stack the blocks to make it look like we planned it that way. He's pretty smart that way and quite handsome too, don't ya think?

Not too shabby, looks like we made some good decisions. Oh you can see my nice Lemon Thyme plant too. Planted it last year and I still love it!

We had that bed for a week or so, and put the remaining wet wood in the garage to keep it from getting even wetter. It is the rainy season in Oregon, you know. My garage never smelt better!

Now we have two beds and I've planted chives and bought seeds. I need to plant some lettuce and cool weather things but hey look it is raining again. I do still love the rain.

If the garden produces anything I'll be happy. I'm looking on it as an experiment. I've never tried to garden in Oregon, but I'm on my way to learning now.

Kitty Antics

My boy Burt decided he needed to accomplish something the other day. I was sitting upstairs and saw a flash of orange out of the corner of my eye. 

Burt what are you doing in that window Momma told you not to get into? It is too high for kittens...

Momma, just because you shouldn't does not mean you can't. I resisted the urge to give it a go for over a year. Sometimes I need a Mellie break.

Yes Burt sometimes we need a break from each other. Mellie took hers on my lap. (I think she is part leopard with those spots.)

You can also enjoy outside and picking your grass fresh. 

But Momma you say Mellie can't be trusted outside.

But I can!!

ps: Can we plant a whole bunch more grass? We did manage to keep it growing all winter. Nothing tastes as good as a nice fresh salad in wintertime.

Knitting in March

Well would you look at that I have been knitting! I've had this lovely yarn with me since NY. I'd been holding off knitting it waiting for the right pattern to pop up. I knew I wanted something more than plain socks. But I finally gave up and started knitting a plain sock. Then right before the heel flap my brain said I should knit some purple Monkeys. I ripped back to the cuff and sure enough they did want to be Monkeys. 

And look what Hubby brought back from a nice little yarn store in Pennsylvania. I just love seeing what colors (and brands) he picks out. I think he does a great job.

Last Halloween time a coworker brought in a cat shaped soap that he had made. We did some negotiating and decided to trade our skills. I got some handmade Star Wars soap for Hubby and he was supposed to get slippers. You know like his grandma made him in the past. A quick and easy knit...

Never send a muggle to the yarn store unsupervised. He bought sock yarn, but he did buy enough for his bigger-than-mine feet. So yeah, I'm making a pair of socks for a coworker, how did that happen again? Oh, he did get a great large tote bag with a fun kitty on it, like sweater size bag. I didn't have a knitting bag big enough to hold a sweater, but I do now, and I'm making socks.

In other news I found a wee bit of time to spin some yarn. I got up to check on the laundry and next thing I knew I had lost my spinning seat. Don't worry he gave it back not too much later. Good thing my spinning has so much supervision.

Finally it is hard to be a kitten in this house, you have to share everything. 

I think they may just love each other a tinge.

Trying something new

I've been sick and every time I'm sick it gives me a big urge to bake. It is something about being home and wanting to give comfort. What's the best comfort? Baked goods of course. I usually can resist the urge till I'm on the mend and no longer contagious, like this time. Good thing my body planned ahead and demanded I buy frozen blueberries beforehand. So I tried my hand at making some mini muffins using a new recipe. You're supposed to layer the berries then batter, but then I missed the multiple layers item. So I had to convert them to upside down muffins. No worries they still taste great. 

It's new sock Friday! These little buggers are finally done. I started knitting them way back before D's accident in 2016. I got halfway through and thought they did not want to be socks, but I didn't know what they did want to be. So they sat on the needles and they moved into the new house and sat some more. When I finished knitting D's new socks (pictures coming) I wandered into my Rhinebeck room and none of the yarn called to me. I know right?! Then the half finished sock said "Uhm maybe I do want to be a sock, and another sock. Yes being two socks would be nice." So I took up my needles and now socks!

 This is Bumblebirch Heartwood in Celestial.  I bought this in 2015 in Portland on a visit before we decided to make the big move. Full circle and what not.

So now I need some different socks on the needles. I'm thinking this pair needs to be called Your Mother was a Hamster. You all have seen Monty Python's Holy Grail, right?

Burt says, I know how to keep my socks clean. Will you knit me a new pair sometime Momma?