Sunday, December 20, 2009

Oh knitting my knitting

What the Hell? I thought we had a deal knitting, I love you and you love me. I'm starting to believe that we're not on the same page so to speak. I am looking at all three of you current projects. You have been knit and reknit and reknit. I'm starting to think you have separation anxiety. I will still spend time with you after you're knit up. Yes, it will be different but I will love you more for your warmth. It is OK for you to reach your full potential.

I am at the same point on D's sweater I was a week ago except now I am wiser. Why is it wisdom always comes with a price tag attached? At least my inner knitter saved me some trouble. She whispered to me that I should not completely bind off the bottom cuff till I tried the sweater on D. It is just too bad that she let me get so far with the sleeve before we tried it on him. The wisdom I obtained from the sleeve was: yes it is possible to make a weird hybrid puffy pirate sleeve while knitting a sweater. Turns out if you decrease to quickly on a sleeve it makes the sleeve look "poofy". Yep poofy, just how D described the sweater to me. "Hey honey can you make me a poofy sweater?" Yep, honey I sure can just let me try to make a normal sweater and it will come out that way. Sweater knitting this is your official warning. I will put you in time out if you poof on me again. I know I did not listen to inner knitter but this is the fifth time I've made something like you I should understand the process by now. Remember sweater I'm watching you.

Don't worry I still think you're pretty, in a manly way.

Sock knitting you're on my naughty list too. Ok you're right I expected this of you. I cast you on not really knowing what I was going to do with you. I told you we were just trying things out. It was OK if I had to rip back. But then I decided what to do with you after the third ripping. What you did not get that memo? Sorry sock knitting. Are we good now? I really think you're lovely. I like you just the way you're working up. No don't say those things about sweater, it's not "stupid", that is not going to get you more time with me. There is enough of me to go around.

Shhh don't tell the other knitting but I think your colors are especially Christmasy.

Mittens oh mittens. Just because you're my first "real" colorwork project does not mean you should try to make me grow by leaps and bounds. We can save some of my learning for the next project. Right mitten, I've been thinking about it and I'm afraid I don't understand you like I should. You know what that means right? Yep I am going to rework you yet again. I'm sorry that is just the way it has to be. You know you're not like socks people will see you more and notice that left you and right you don't quite match. They will judge you harshly for this. They will say things like "home made" and "knit wrong", and they will not mean it in a good way.

Never fear mittens I will not allow that to happen. I want you to hear only good words like "beautiful" and "wow". I promise to stop thinking of you as "bad wool", I promise to see deeper than that, you're just "misunderstood wool".

I will endeavor to try harder with all of you. You did teach me yet again that I should not knit Christmas presents. We're both way to fickle to have such a large deadline.

So knitting do we have an understanding? Are we good? Don't make me knit something else because you know I will.

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