I'm not sure I can do it but I'm going to try

OK, I need to tell you a story from my childhood to start this post off. I grew up in a really small church. Really small, I think 20 people attending was a very good day. I remember my Mom and Dad talking about how sad it was that the church was so small, you couldn't even hear people singing. So the next Sunday I start singing as loud as I can.

We go home after the service and my brother proceeds to tell my parents about how someone was singing so loudly and badly. He was trying to figure out who it was, then he realized it was me. Now he said this in front of me, mind you I could not have been very old, and on top of that I can be extremely sensitive. So my whole life I have been convinced I have a horrible singing voice. I mean so horrible that I don't sing at church I mouth the words. If the cut out the congressional singing I would be very happy. Thrilled.

We started attending a new church that is far more traditional than the last one. By traditional I mean Hymns with that odd timing I can never seem to figure out. Maybe it is because I'm always trying to rush through the song to get to the non-singing portions.

When we started attending the new church one of the ladies, who sat in front of us, commented to me that I had a lovely singing voice maybe I should join the choir. I swallowed back the urge to say Bullsh** to her face. They frown on that kind of language in church, you know? I totally do not believe her, still don't. How could she hear my barely there whisper singing?

So they keep working me all summer long. Not in a pushy way, just a we'd love to have you join us sort of way. I don't respond well to pushy, tends to make me pushy right back in the wrong direction. But we'd love to have you, makes me melt. (D don't you dare use that for evil purposes!)

So last church service I talked to the choir director to see if I could just check it out, no singing required yet. In that same "we'd love to have you come in" manner she said sure come on in and check us out. For as loud and boisterous I can be I have a very shy timid side, especially when it comes to singing. (I blame my brother)

This week I attended me first choir practice! You may applaud now. I'm still not sure I'm going to do it but I am certainly thinking of it as a possibility. So how do you ask for an honest audition? If I really suck at it I don't want to be there messing up everyone else. Honestly most of me still thinks my voice is horrible. It is going to take some work to get over that. Maybe the first step is to actually sing above a whisper at church?