Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My life verse

Proverbs 3:5&6 says Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.
As long as I can remember I believed in Jesus, I did not understand many things but I believed. I realize now that I had a child's understanding and a child's faith.  Not that it is a bad thing.  I believed what people told me: that he died for our sins.  I never really understood why.  To be honest I still don't.  Think he had to die because God said he had to die.  That is enough for me.  It does not matter to me who passed sentence or their motives for doing it, it just had to be done according to God and that is good enough for me.  See what I mean by child's understanding.  I feel my husband has a good grasp of the ideology but I never understood why someone would ask me "Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?"  Uhm Yes?  Is that the answer you want?  Why would they even care?  Do they even care or are they just passing time with me in front of them?  Is that what we ask each other when we attend Church?  I always viewed God and religion as a personal private thing.  Don't get me wrong I am not ashamed of my beliefs, but why would I talk to a stranger about something I hold very dear?  I realize that part of the reason I feel that it is private for me is that I can not quote scripture.  Once you put on that "believer" badge you're supposed to turn into the fountain of Biblical knowledge.  That did not happen for me.  I can paraphrase things but I can not quote.  People use that too often to make themselves feel better at the expense of others.  Judge not lest ye be judged is one that I have to remind myself of a lot.  So what I am saying is I am comfortable with my child' s faith.  It may be simple but I think it is true.  I have questions that I hope God will answer for me, but I don't get bogged down in theory or philosophy.  
Who killed Jesus?  We all did.  
Why did he die?  Because God said so.  
Do I believe?  Yes, but I can't tell you why.  
Am I a better person than you?  No, but sometimes I know true peace.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. That was amazing does not even do your thoughts justice. My favorite part was "No, but sometimes I know true peace." If everybody would look at what they believe with that kind of honesty I wonder wha the world would be like.