Never brag

Especially if you brag about never having broken a bone. Looks like D will be taking care of me for a while. Burt is all for sitting in the comfy chair with me. Mellie has decided Momma can go to the bathroom by herself if she insists on taking crutches with her.

Time for a nice complicated shawl of healing right?

Ahoj knitting content

So do we talk about new year's resolutions or can we just skip that part and say I am always working on being a better me and sometimes I am not as successful as I would like. We good?

I did pick up some new habits that I will be carrying into the new year. Want to hear about them? Of course you do!

I finally pulled out a nice thick journal I had bought a while ago and started writing in it. Maybe to compensate for not writing here? Maybe, I've just wanted to start working through some things and journaling is something I've wanted to try for a while. Plus it is a covert way to fill my school supplies love basket. 

I made a few entries and they confirmed that one of the things I really wanted to do was start exercising regularly again. This time I instituted a guilt free and recordless plan. I tend to beat myself up a lot and I wanted to get out of the "shoulda" way of thinking. I shoulda did this, I shoulda done that. Now I just go do it for however long I want or I take a night off. There are no rules or goals other than checking the box or not. Personally it has been rather freeing. 

Another thing I identified as a priority was catching my knitting journal up. I was a year and a half behind at one time. I am proud to say that I ended 2019 caught up and ready to do better. I realized how much I missed writing up my knitting when I saw how much was sneaking into my new journaling habit. That's fine I can still talk about it over there too. Heck my old knitting journals worked as my first journaling endeavor anyways. I can split them, I can join them, I can do whatever I want with them. No guilt!

And speaking of doing what I want I made a couple of ornaments with leftover sock yarn. Though I only managed to snap a pic of one of them. My little pink one is at work hanging by my name plate.  It is super cute too.

I finished up some socks by the end of the year too. I started these the first time D went to Czechia and they sat and sat. When I went to Czechia I made sure they came with me. I ripped back the few inches I had, and turned them into my Czech Monkeys.

I just love the look of Monkey socks. It is one of those patterns that seems written on my soul. They look lovely but are not too hard to knit and easy to memorize.

One of the things I found in Czechia were cute little graph paper notebooks. I bought this one first then allowed myself to go back and get a bigger one and one more like a school notebook. See I told you I love school supplies. I have learned that it is easier for me to rewrite a pattern. I love the little squares but don't always need to count them. I have figured out a way that makes sense to me and will most likely be rewriting more.

These socks are just the splash of color I need mid winter. Even when my winter is no longer white, I love some funky colored socks!

This my languishing project that will be getting attention this year. Bouncy squishy handspun yarn, that I need to learn from. I want to make mitts or mittens from it but I need to write out the pattern for the gauge I'm getting. I have Ann Budd's handy book of projects at multiple gauges that I need to narrow down to my specific gauge and write out. See I knew those little notebooks would be handy.

So now that we're caught up I have some new yarn to take pictures of so that I can post here. Yeah I had a nice time in a yarn store yesterday. I even logged it into Ravelry the same day! I am winning!

Ahoj Brno!

Long time no write!? I've been busy and not busy. But today let's talk about my lovely trip to Brno Czechia.

After much time spent actually getting there, we arrived safe, sound and hungry. Where to eat? Let's go get some Czech food and beer. D had pilsner goulash and dumplings while I had "Moravian Sparrow" which was not sparrow but pork with dumplings and the best cabbage I've ever had.

Excited but travel weary and ready to eat!

 We took a long walk up the hill to the castle. Spectacular views everywhere. We took a tour of the dungeons and left ready for fresh air and happiness. 

Brno has a whole cabbage market/farmer's market. I wanted to buy everything every time I walked through. Fun fact paprika is the Czech word for peppers.

I loved visiting and would visit again! Don't worry I found a couple of yarn stores that I can tell you about too...

Knitting and felines

After all these years of knitting I have finally figured out a few things. Those things may not save me from ripping back a project but they sure do help me keep the number of rip backs down.

I'm knitting another Multnomah Shawl. This one is number four or five, I'm not sure. I have learned stitch markers are my friends when knitting shawls. I have this one so blinged out! 

 All of the markers were acquired over my knitting years. The most recent ones, near the ends are numbered markers bought at this year's Black Sheep Gathering. Multnomah has a four row repeat and I'm using my nifty number markers as row counters. Each time I start a new row the coresponding marker is moved to the top position on that side. One and Three are playing jump frog and Two and Four are playing on the other side. Lucky me found a set that goes up to 10 so I am set for larger repeats too.

The sheep are marking my center spine column they get a yarnover in front and behind when directed. The two green ones mark the center garter stitch portion that is slowly being expanded by those yarnovers. Those were bought at my first Rose City Yarn Crawl. The stitch repeats are being carefully looked after with the pearl and tiger eye loop markers that I bought from Mt Rutsen Fibers at two different Rhinebecks. They are my most favorite and useful markers! I have bought four different sets and would buy many more sets if I could. Maybe one day I will make it back to Rhinebeck...

My knitting companions have been Princess Melissa of the Most Ladylike Sleeping.

She's even ladylike when she wakes.

And Duke Burton of Keeps an Eye on the Neighborhood and Momma.

What my kids have lots of titles?!

Inspecting our Black Sheep Gathering 2019 haul

My second Black Sheep Gathering was fiber full, just like last year. So that means I have been a spinner for a year now. Woot woot!

Let's take a sniff through the stash shall we? Melissa started us off. I think she may have a preference for natural fibers. She may take after Gus that way, he liked a rustic wool.

Well Mellie, do you think Momma's new sticker is right? Does Momma speak fluent cat?

Yeah Momma you do... with a funny accent. 

What kind of accent? I don't know a Momma accent?

 Yes the sticker is Burt approved too.

Actually Burt likes to lick plastic. Eww I know but we all have our quirks. So he was licking the overwrap for my new needles.

I think I buy needles, usually sock needles, everytime I see Carolina Homespun's booth at a festival. I started buying at Rhinebeck because they're one of the few supply vendors there. And I have continued here. I knit most of my socks on 2.25mm Knitter's Pride dreamz wooden needles. I always have multiple socks on the needles so I "need" more needles. Well, that and needles do wear out an break with use. I also like trying out different needles so this time I bought zings. 

Back to the festival talk. When I decided to have lunch I was joking with a group of ladies in front of me, I tend to lose a bit of my introversion when I'm surrounded be fellow fiberistas. One of the ladies who I thought was part of a group was really not part. She waved me over to her when I turned to find a seat. We had a lovely chat about wool and where life takes us. She was a Vermonter that now lives west coast. She had taken a class many years ago that was taught by a South Dakotan, and was disappointed because the class was altered to fit the need of most of the students but not her need. She mostly understood but was still disappointed to not learn what was advertised. Anyways we had a lovely chat that did not drain my introvert battery. 

I'm always surprised when this little vignettes happen at fiber festivals. I still remember watching two ladies talk about how weird hair growth felt after cancer treatments at one Rhinebeck. So thanks happy lady for sharing lunch and the love of fiber with me at BSG.

Now onto what I bought: seven bumps of fiber from Shaggy Bear Farm to fill in more of my collection from her fold. I leaned to finer fibers since I did not tend to get them before. Two colors of fiber from Greenwood fibers, and two braids from Renegade Fibers. Filling out the non fiber side of the haul include a copy of Ply magazine, a tool for picking up stitches, a tool to tell us what weight fiber is spun at, stitch markers, DPN needles and a lovely basket. But you've already seen the basket put to use.

Therapy session

I took one of my Black Sheep Gathering purchases out for a little stroll in the backyard. 

I realized the other day while admiring my garden that I had created a great way and place to take yarnie pictures. I do miss all the yarn on grass pictures that I took in NY. I don't really have a well lit pleasant background spot in the new house. Plus one of my go to spots was already occupied. 

What Momma? This chair shows off our colors well enough, and it is cushy too. It is a prime spot for kitten recharging.

Anyways back to this morning's project. I took my gorgeous new basket filled with yarn outside and had a little photo shoot in the garden. What better backdrop than blooming tomato plants? It was some much needed yarn, color, and outdoor therapy time. I also discovered that my basket can hold 18 pairs of pre-socks or as others would say sock yarn. It also held a few skeins of not sock yarn. Yes I buy that sometimes too, just nowhere near as often.

My feline yarn companions were quite put out since they did not get to experience the outside portion of the session. They complained loudly about how unfair life was. How can we be yarn inspectors when we cannot get to the yarn? Then I came back inside and it was nap time so the world continues. 

Aggressive Pruning; Life Lessons from my Garden

Who knew when I started planting last  year that it would teach me so much. I mean honestly I knew I would learn a bit about growing things but I didn't know it would teach me about growing myself.

I had dianthus looking horrible and thought about pulling them out but with spring and patience they bloomed lovely. I mean honestly they were rocking the patio. Then they started to look bad again I thought about pulling them out again, but just cut back aggressively. Instead of wasting energy trying to support dying stems and blooms they redirected that energy into growing. Now I have a happy little mound of new growth. I am hopeful they will be able to bloom again. It felt good getting rid of sad brown crunchy bits. I could almost hear the new leaves sigh while stretching for the sunshine.

I have been struggling in a position of leadership in a volunteer capacity. I hate it. I never wanted to do it but people looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said it is not that hard, we will support you. Then someone sent me that nasty anonymous letter and put a dent in my armor. And the people "supporting" me, didn't. They listened to my fears and hurt and made a few comforting noises and honestly expected me to get over it in a week. So they took my dented armor away from me.

Have you met my black little introverted heart? I come from pioneer stock I know how to circle the wagons. I could feel myself withdrawing every time I was around these people. I carefully placed every stone back in my introvert wall and closed myself off. I retreated and my wounds turned out to be deeper and they festered. Oh man did I fester. Every time someone said I needed to "get over it" and every time I heard myself ask why can't you get over it...I added another layer of bricks onto my you-can't-hurt-me wall.

The thing is, on the scale of things I know it was not that bad. It was a nasty little letter meant to steal confidence and make the sender feel more powerful. Guess what it worked. It got under my skin and poked holes in my identity, self worth and ego. It ricocheted around my brain and heart. It stole my joy. Yeah I'm tough, but it hit me hard in my soft candy center. One single anonymous letter...fucking bitch. Three little lines implying I was not good enough to some coward unwilling to sign their taunt...fucking bitch. Because if someone could take the time to do this what else are they capable of?Or even doing without me knowing about? And that my friends is how fear grips its icy had around your heart. How do stalkers start? When does it become a war? When does it go from nasty words on a page to harmful actions?

I don't have answers for those questions. I know that things were said behind my back to people. I know emails were deleted before I could read them because "they ruined my weekend." I know that this whole situation was not handled well or correctly by people who said they would support me. I know that I am watching my back.

Last month I took out one of those layers of bricks and sent out a message. I am resigning and retreating. I am going to take care of me and mine. I'm going to allow myself to regrow and bloom. I am cutting you out of my growth cycle. Your branch has been pruned. I am going to give my energy to myself and what I want, because I know that I am worthy!