I started off the week battling with myself over giving Gus insulin. Not sure if I could give an injection. I've never liked needles, I was not sure I could put one in another living being. It was way easier than I ever thought it could be and I will be doing it if the situation warrants it.
Then I made the choice and it did not work out well. I checked on Gus and found him unresponsive in the closet. I found out I can keep a somewhat clear head in an emergency, but I would like to be better. The vet told me I did everything I was supposed to do.
Gus seems to have no lasting effects from the trauma but I'm not sure that I have dealt with it yet. I keep feeling like I should be falling apart more than I am. I worry a bit that I am just sucking it all up and will just break down at an inconvenient time. Then again I don't regret any of my decisions or actions so maybe I have already made peace with everything. Bad things happen, it does not mean I need blame myself or anyone else.