Tuesday, June 21, 2016

I'm still here

We're working through our grieving process, again. I feel that I gave the situation and Gus' health a hard look. I had to admit some things to myself and Woah Boy was that difficult.

Gus had been declining so slowly and steadily that it made assessing his health all the tougher. We adjusted to every new normal that we had to, for which I will always be thankful. We got at least five bonus years out of him. Granted they were hard won bonus years but I will treasure each of the memories.

I found out just how tough and weak I am. Now was the time to admit just how weak we all were. Chronic illness takes just a bit out of you each time. Oh Hell it takes quite a bit out of you each time. It was so hard to look a pictures of young healthy cats and see the light slowly extinguishing in my beloved's.

Then the thought of what this three thousand mile trip would do to us. When you buy your first smartphone because you may need to have access to an emergency vet, you may want to rethink asking your beloved to make that journey.

It came down to hoping Gus would give up before I had to give in for him. That boy was never going to give up, unless you count not eating. He just could not face dinner time anymore.

He gave us his all and we gave him a peaceful way out.

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