Earlier this year I was thinking of what to knit. I was looking for something that I would not have to think too much about. I knit a bunch of socks and one of the things I adore about knitting them is that I can just go round and round with them. It is blissfully mindless. Some may call it meditative.
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I told you I was planning and planning sometimes requires purchasing.
I had found Viajante a while back. It looked a bit like a lovely huge sock, but not like a sock. More like a shawl/poncho/cowl combo that knits up similar to a sock. Round and round but never boring. My first laceweight project, plenty of meditation time.
I pulled out the supplies and did a bit of planning when Mom started to let go. I knew travel would be coming and I knew there would be a lot of people and feelings. I needed something to do with with my hands and my feelings. I needed an outlet.
I started to knit and realized I needed to go up a few sizes in needles. I'm a tight knitter to begin with and stress and worry does not make any of us loose and relaxed.
Mellie and Burt helped me to sort out my anxiety and grief. Mellie took a lot of the beginning shifts. She is an excellent girl, My Mellie.
The shawl grew slowly through my trip home to say goodbye. It grew in airports and cars and homes.
I was asked if I was nervous was that why I was knitting? I was asked what I was knitting and tried to explain. What I should have said was I was knitting my grief away. I was knitting for calm and peace. I was knitting to help me say goodbye.
And now the shawl continues with my healing. I'm on my last ball of yarn but I'm sure I will be happy to wear my light but huge shawl to comfort myself once it is done. Sometimes we knit for fun, sometimes for companionship, most of the time for comfort, whatever the reason our knitting is there for us as we are there for the ones we love.
Amen.
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