I am not even sure where to start. As you know I have been struggling for the last couple of years. Heck all of us have been struggling. Turns out a worldwide pandemic is a huge stress. Add to that how many people it brought out the worst in and oh boy, what a shitty world we live in.
OK I feel better for saying it but it is a hard thing to admit. We are horrible to one another. Kindness is something that is demanded as a right and not reciprocated. I am done, just done with people acting like petulant children. Demanding this and that without giving anything back. Mine, mine, mine is all I see.
Sigh, maybe I should just write this all in a journal somewhere, but nope it is here on this page. Seems I am having a moment...
Sigh, I made a decision a couple of weeks ago to help me. I quit my job. I stayed on to train my replacement but I made the decision to walk away from a very bad situation. Honestly I feel better. I worked my way through some things. I felt like a failure but then I slapped myself with the kindness stick and let myself off the hook. It is not a failure to admit things are not right, and you have done everything you can to make them better, but things are still not right.
Sigh, I am worth it. I am better than this and I will always be worth it.
As I was cleaning out my desk I found a piece of paper. Remember a couple of years ago when someone anonymously sent me a letter telling me I was not living up to their standards? You know buy a blouse, wash my hair and put on makeup. (Side note I'm really not doing that now in a pandemic.) No I did not keep that piece of paper. Hubby collected all the nice things people had said to me after that and typed it up and sent it to me anonymously. Yes I know he is a good hubby even if he scared the pants off of me that day. That is the piece of paper I found to help me get through a very tough day of leaving.
Sigh, I am worth it. I am better than this and I will always be worth it.